


Magic Dragon Theater

by margaritaville_antifa



Category: Utopia (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 02:52:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17417645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margaritaville_antifa/pseuds/margaritaville_antifa
Summary: Kasim goes to the circus.





	Magic Dragon Theater

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i dont know what im smoking either

Kasim walked into the Bearsville Sound Studio, which was surprisingly empty. “Hello?” He called, his voice echoing off the walls, but there was no answer. Not a Roger, a Willie, or even a Todd in sight. “Why the hell did Todd call me up here for?” Kasim said to himself.

Earlier that morning, Kasim’s phone had rung at the ripe old time of six AM in the morning. It was, of course, Todd.

“Kas, you gotta come up to Bearsville. Now,” Todd said. “We’re not recording, but we’re doin’ some fun stuff.”

“Can’t we do something fun in the city?” Kasim was of course referring to NYC, the greatest city on Earth. “There’s nothing to do in the country, ‘cept record...”

“Are you kidding me? We can do whatever we want out here! You just gotta use your imagination...”

“OK, OK, I don’t need a lecture on this right now.”

And so, Kasim found himself roped into coming all the way from Staten Island to Upstate New York for seemingly no good reason, yet again. It must’ve been a cruel prank, another one of Todd’s hazing attempts. He was about to leave when he spotted a giant, rainbow tent outside in the yard.

“What the hell?” Kasim went out to investigate, approaching the tent with an air of caution. “Todd? Where are you?” Nothing. Kas decided to check the interior. Maybe Todd was inside and couldn’t hear?

Inside, there was a giant circus ring with an eye (the same one on Utopia’s debut) painted in the middle, on the floor. At the opposite end from the entrance was a giant, teal curtain that glittered and sparkled. Surrounding the outer perimeter of the ring were stands, presumably for an audience. “Wow, it looked smaller from outside,” Kasim said, clearly in awe at the scale. He sat down on the stands and waited to see if Todd (or anyone else for that matter) would show up.

Unbeknownst to Kasim, Todd was spying on him from behind the curtain. “He’s here. Excellent...” He turned to Roger, who was dressed in a blue marching band uniform, complete with a cape and a shako hat adorned with a peacock feather. “Rog, is everyone ready for the show?”

“Yeah, just about,” Roger said. “Hopefully our test audience reacts well.”

“And then we can take this show on the road. The Utopian Travelling Circus! Now, if you’ll excuse me...” Todd hurried past Roger to his personal dressing room.

Meanwhile, Kasim was still waiting when a wheel ran over his foot. “OW! WATCH IT, WIL-Oh, hey Mr. Loaf.”

“Mr. Loaf was my father, Kazzy,” Meat Loaf said from behind his food cart. “Call me Meat.”

“Oh, okay Meat.”

“Say, Kazzy... Are you hungry?”

“Not rea-” Kasim was cut off as Meat Loaf began piling various circus snacks onto him.

“We got popcorn, cotton candy, cokes, more popcorn, more cotton candy and- Oh shit! I forgot the peanuts! I’ll be back!” 

Kasim watched Meat run off with his cart, shaking his head. “Shit, what am I gonna do with all this food?” He looked at all the junk food in his arms. “I can’t fuckin’ eat all of this!”

“My, my... such fowl language.” Kasim looked over to his left at a tall, elegant, red-headed woman in a Victorian-Era dress and a wide brimmed hat.

“Oh, my bad,” Kasim said, turning red.

“No, no, don’t be sorry,” the lady said. Kasim noticed the faint smell of cinnamon coming off her. “It’s not like I never heard those sorts of words before. And...”

“And?” Kasim raised an eyebrow.

“... I must say, you’re awfully cute... Perhaps, you’d like to rendezvous after the show, behind the tent?”

Kasim’s eyes widened. “Would I ever! You got yourself a date, ma’am!”

Kasim and the lady (who introduced herself as Mademoiselle Citrouille) flirted for a short while, but then Kasim felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned over to his right and saw a gentleman with a handlebar mustache, wearing a tall, silk top hat. He smelled of bananas.

“Excuse me, I didn’t want to interrupt a couple of young lovers like yourselves,” the man said in a thick Italian accent. “But may I please have some of your cotton candy? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Kasim said, handing the pink spun sugar to the man. “I don’t want it.”

“Thank you, sir. My name is Signor Frutto, by the way.” He handed Kas a business card. “Pleasure to meet you, uh...”

“Kasim. Kasim Sulton. But you can just call me Kas.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Signor Sulton. Oh, look! The show is starting!”

“Wait, what show?”

The stage lights were turned on and Roger’s deep voice boomed over the loudspeaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in-between or totally disconnected from the gender system altogether... Todd Rundgren and the Utopians present... The Magic Dragon... THEATER!”

Todd came out from behind the curtain, wearing a sparkly pink tailcoat, blue pants that were (of course) tight enough to show off The Package, knee high boots, and a top hat with gold trim.

“Todd, what the hell is going on?” Kasim yelled.

“Shush up! No heckling! Now...” Todd gave pause for dramatic effect. “How about a little fanfare?”

Prairie, Willie, Roger, Daryl, John, and an unidentifiable person in a dragon mascot costume came out in matching uniform. With Prairie and Willie as the drumline and the rest handling brass and woodwinds, they marched around the ring as Todd led them, playing an instrumental version of ‘International Feel’. They were followed by a quartet of four dancing girls, kicking their legs in the air in bright, frilly dresses that looked like clouds. The song ended and the performers left backstage. Mademoiselle Citrouille and Signor Frutto applauded but Kasim was left dumbfounded. 

A cart wheel ran over his foot again. “YE-OWCH! Watch it, Mea- Oh, hi... Greg?”

Kasim looked up at Greg who was in a poofy magenta dress, face caked in makeup, pushing a cart of balloons in all the colors of the rainbow. “Hi Kasim! Do you want a balloon?”

“Uh, sure...”

“What color?”

“Well, geez, I don’t know... They all look pretty nice...”

“I’ll just give you one of each, then! We have red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, pink, indigo, teal, brown, black, white, grey, crimson, vermilion, chartreuse...”

Kasim was now completely surrounded by balloons, like trees in a forest. He wondered how he got to this point.

“Well, I think that’s all of them. Enjoy the show!” Greg smiled as he walked away.

Backstage, Todd was pacing back and forth by the phone. When it finally rang, he picked it up immediately. “Hello? Yes? Yes. Hmm. I see... Uh, well, I’ll figure somethin’ out, thank you.”

“Who was that?” Roger said, as Todd hung up the phone.

“Roger, we have an issue...”

“What is it?”

“The clowns I rented out aren’t coming. There was terrible accident on the freeway and many lives were lost.”

“Oh my god, that’s terrible!” Roger said. “We’ll have to cancel the show then.”

“No! The show must go on at all costs!”

“But we have no clowns!”

“Really? Because I’m looking at one right now...” Todd smiled, deviously.

“What? Wait...” All the color drained from Roger’s face. “No, no, no, we are NOT doing this...”

“PRAIRIE! Grab Roger and tie him down! I’m gonna get the makeup...”

Roger tried to run but he was quickly caught in a bear hug by Prairie Prince. “Sorry, Rog. I gotta follow orders.”

“C’mon guys, don’t make me do this!” Roger yelled, as he was tied to a chair. His yells got louder as he saw Todd saunter towards him with white cream face paint. “PLEASE TODD, I'M BEGGING YOU!”

“Shhhh... This won’t hurt a bit...”

Meanwhile, Kasim was beginning to wonder when the show would start up again. The stage had been quiet for quite some time, though Kas swore he could hear faint screaming.

Finally, Todd popped out. “Sorry for the delay, folks! We were having some complications with our entertainment but-” A car horn suddenly honked. “Oh! I think they’re here!”

A tiny yellow car drove out onto the ring. Todd opened the door and Kasim gasped when he saw who came out. It was Roger Powell. He was in a blue dress with a heart pattern, pink polka-dot tights, giant blue shoes, and pink gloves. His face was painted white with red makeup over his mouth, and pink hearts over his cheeks. A big, pink wig finished off the look.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our guest: Miz Giggles!”

Roger sheepishly waved to Kasim. Kasim waved back.

Todd threw an arm around Roger. “So, Miz Giggles... What are you gonna do, tonight? Anything funny planned?”

“Todd, we never went over a routine for this.”

“Who needs a routine! You gotta think outside the box! GREG! The pies please...”

Greg came out with a cart full of cream pies. “Excellent...” Todd rubbed his hands together. He grabbed one pie and chucked it at Roger’s face.

“TODD! I WASN’T READ-” Roger was interrupted by another pie. Todd produced a bottle of seltzer water and sprayed Roger until he was dripping wet. Roger was mortified and as if things couldn’t get worse, the humiliation was starting to turn him on a bit.

“Come on, I can’t be doing all the work here!” Todd pointed toward a big ball that was off to the side. “Go stand on that!”

“But I’ll fall!”

“It’ll be funny! And besides Greg’s already laying down a mattress for you, so it’ll be perfectly safe.”

“Fine...” Roger went over to the ball and clumsily tried to get both feet and hands on the perfectly round surface. He couldn’t keep his balance for long and he slipped off, falling face first into the spring mattress.

Roger lifted his head and his face was assaulted with another pie. “Man, you’re not very funny are ya?” Todd said. “You’re a bad clown.”

Roger sat up. “Yeah, I know. Can I go now?”

“Not yet. I wanna see if you can at least make a balloon animal.”

“Todd, I really don’t have experience doing that.”

Todd shoved a deflated balloon towards Roger. “Just try it, okay? Doesn’t have to be super complex.”

Roger blew into the balloon into a long sausage-like shape, but he inflated it too much and it popped in his face. His failure was “rewarded” with yet another pie. By this point, he was so covered in whipped cream that Kasim couldn’t even recognize him anymore.

“Well, this sure was a bust,” Todd said. “That was our clown show, folks! Up next, we have something a bit more entertaining: A LION TAMER!”

Todd put a hand on Roger’s shoulder as he led him back behind the curtain. He leaned in and whispered into his ear. “Did that really turn you on?”

“TODD! How did you know...?”

“I’ve known you long enough to know how you get when you’re... aroused. Y’know, if you want, we can go into my private room and take care of this whole situation.”

“God, please.”

John Oates went up on the stage carrying a whip. “Hello everyone! It is I, the great lion tamer!” 

Daryl Hall came out, wearing a lion costume. “Watch out, boy! I’ll chew you upYE-OUCH!”

John drew back his whip. “Sit on that chair.”

“Fuck you, I ain’t doin’ i-OUCH! Okay, fine...”

Meanwhile, backstage, Roger was bent over a table, being fucked in the ass by Todd’s large ass cock, tights down and dress up. “Oh Todd... harder, harder...”

“You like that, you little freak?”

“Yeah, yeah, god...” Roger’s face was a mess, his sweat mixing with the pie and clown makeup and running down his cheekbones.

“How does it feel, Roger?”

“Oh, it’s so good, Todd... So good...”

There was a knock at the door. “Todd, the lion act is almost over!” Said the voice on the other side.

“Fuck, gimme a second!” Todd yelled out. He pushed faster and faster into Roger until he came to climax. 

“Are you finished already?” Roger panted. 

“Yeah, I told you it was only going to be a quickie.” Todd wiped his dick off and pulled his pants back up. “The show must go on!”

Todd left the room, leaving Roger, all alone and still a mess, and back out onto the ring. “Alright, for our next act, we have... Shit, what was supposed to come next?” He looked at the smudged writing on his hands. “Uh... Oh, I know! Ladies and Gentlemen, give it for... Prairie Prince and his amazing trapeze act!” 

Prairie jumped from bar to bar, swinging back and forth, doing all sorts of flips and spins in the air. Kasim was awestruck by the amazing athleticism on display. If only he could do something like that... Suddenly, he felt something itchy on his right arm. Like hair. He looked over and saw a gorrila sitting where Signor Frutto sat. He looked over to the left and his heart sank. Mademoiselle Citrouille was now a pumpkin pie.

“NO! How am I gonna date a pie?” Kasim yelled in anguish. He felt lightheaded, like he was about to faint. That’s when he noticed his chair was flying high in the sky, over the sea. “What the hell! Why am I here?”

“Don’t wonder why, Kasim,” said a mysterious voice. “Where else could you be?”

“What? Whoaaaa...” Kasim was spinning so much, the colors were turning into a blur, melting into each other. Then the spinning stopped, and Kasim was standing in an unfamiliar building. Even worse, he was wearing a nun’s outfit.

“Oh come on, why am I wearing a dress?” Kasim yelled.

“Shaddup Kaz! You’ll ruin the show!” Todd said. He was wearing a large trenchcoat.

“What show...?” Kasim then realized he was backstage in a theater. He heard some voices from the actual stage. It sounded like Roger and Willie. He looked through the curtain and sure enough there they were, sitting around a small table. Roger was in a gray suit and a deerstalker hat, and Willie was dressed as a haggard old man.

“Okay, Kaz,” Todd said, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Here’s whats gonna go down: I play the part of a creepy perverted asshole in this production so I’m gonna chase you around a bit and on stage and you have to scream like a little girl-”

“NO FUCKING WAY! I ain’t doin’ that!”

“But you gotta!”

“Fuck off...”

Todd pulled out a nekhakha. “Are you gonna start runnin’ now?”

“Oh fuck.” Kasim ran in the opposite direction with Todd at his heels, whipping him. The noises from their shoes click-clacking on the hardwood floors alerted Roger.

“Who could that be at this time of night?” Roger said, in-character.

“I’m sure we weren’t followed, Dr. Klang,” Willie said, giggling.

Kasim ran onto the stage screaming. “HELP ME! HELP ME!”

“SHADDUP, HE’S GONNA HEAR US! HE’S GONNA HEAR US!” Todd ran out and tackled Kasim to the floor while Roger and Willie looked on in shock.

“Todd!” Roger yelled.

“What? This was part of the script!”

“Not that! Look up!”

Todd and Kasim looked up to see a fearsome green dragon, staring down at them. Kasim thought he recognized the beast from somewhere when he realized that it was the same dragon in the marching band. Except bigger. 

The dragon roared and picked Kasim and Todd up in its giant claws. Kas looked into it’s mouth, complete with sharp yellow teeth and drool oozing out the sides. He hoped that this was all just a bad dream, and that’d he wake up soon, surrounded by his loving bandmates, back in Todd’s comfortable studio out in the country...

Roger chucked his pipe at the beast’s head, hitting it straight in the eye. The “eye” shattered, leaving a hole behind. And who should pop out of it but good ol' Greg.

“Hi," Greg said.

The dragon’s paw released Kas and Todd from it’s grasp, and Kasim found himself falling into another dark abyss. He looked up at the light above him which was fading fast. And then, just as he was about to slip away into the darkness... He came face to face with Meat Loaf, who’s lips were pressed against his.

“MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?”

“Kaz, it’s not what it looks like,” Meat Loaf said. “You choked on a piece of cotton candy and I had to do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.”

“Yeah, we thought you were gonna die for a second there,” Willie said. “Kinda sucks that you missed out on my strongman routine.”

“Wait, is the show over?” Kasim asked. Willie and Meat both nodded their heads. “Oh, thank god.”

Kasim walked out of the tent and back over to the studio building. He didn’t know where Todd was, nor did he care. All he wanted was a nice, cold beer.

When he walked into the kitchen, he almost screamed at the sight of Roger, still in his clown makeup, on his knees and sucking Todd off. “Oh hey, Kaz! Thought you died,” Todd said.

Kasim just turned around and walked back out the door without a word.

The end.


End file.
